Run Dom Run

I’m back in Melbourne after the 5 days on the Gold Coast. The mental game that has been going on in my quiet time has been difficult. I’m embarrassed. Ashamed. Angry.

But also determined. Determined to make amends for what I see was a disaster. An arrogant disaster. I was so smarmy in the lead up to the event, as well as for the first 25km. Then that wall came crashing down and I couldn’t break through it. I thought that the ‘atmosphere’ of the event would pull me through – what rubbish. The atmosphere was incredible, but it’s difficult to soak it up when you’re left walking with a soaked Chux wipe in your hat.

WALKING. My one thing was to not walk. I never walk. Sure in the half-ironman I did, but that was more of a celebration. I am a runner and I simply didn’t run on Sunday.

I’m trying really hard to not wallow, but a little wallowing is important I think. A little wallowing allows for analysis and fury. A little wallowing means that this weekend I will be out running, as opposed to having an entire week off like I had planned. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t deserve a break. I’ve got to keep the kilometres that I forced into my legs there. I can’t forget the people that ran past me in those last 10 kilometres. I can’t forget the sight of the balloons that represented the 3-hour mark slowly bopping away from me. I can’t forget the sight of a Sailor Moon character bounding away from me with glee, as if slapping me in the face.

So what were the positives?

My comfort levels through 21.1km was a real positive. I was confident and comfortable, with my legs ticking over nicely. This bodes well for the half marathon in a couple of weeks that I will now be racing (I need the win. I need to go out and absolutely smash it). Nutrition was also a positive, and I had no gut discomfort. My lungs were great. I felt I had all the air in the world, I just couldn’t get it to my legs.

So what did I learn?

I learnt I’m not as strong as I thought I was over extended distances. I learnt that mental grit and toughness was able to evaporate as soon as things weren’t quite going my way. I learnt that running is really important to me and while I’ve had plenty of successes, this ‘loss’ needs to be a means of moving forward, one step at a time. I learnt that it would have been easier to go out slower to finish quicker.

So what’s next?

I need to run more, plain and simple. I need to run more at pace. I need to run harder. I need to run up hills. I need to change my nutrition to ensure I’m eating enough to ensure I’m getting through my days at work with plenty in the bank. I need to run with people that help me get faster and stronger. That might seem like a lot of pressure, but I’m so bloody close to doing some awesome things. I need to get stronger – use the summer when there’s fewer races to do Pilates (both through BCN and at home). No drinking during the week. Head to Parkrun. Go on long runs with Nikki. Help her smash some amazing 10km times. Keep coaching people and getting better and better in all elements. Read blogs, books and websites that help me learn sessions that will work for me and others.

This was just one race. One race that I still completed, injury free.

The world hasn’t ended, and I’m pretty keen to keep running it.

Dom

Term 3 begins next week, notoriously known as the ‘productive term’ – no reports or interviews and the students seemingly flick a switch and work out how school operates. They mature overnight and tasks that were once difficult to accomplish are now done so with ease.

The aim is for the same thing to happen to me.

I read through some old journals recently and it’s the same old story – I don’t like who I am or how I operate and need to change something. It’s a tale as old as time and getting quite boring. The common theme is fulfilling potential and completing tasks without procrastinating and putting my energy into worthwhile causes…blah blah blah.

With that said, and post disastrous marathon, I can appropriately use the end of the holidays and the start of the new term to begin afresh in mind, body and soul. This is something that appeals to me for some reason and suits my brain, as opposed to haphazardly beginning something in the middle of nowhere (perhaps teaching is the perfect career for me to stay in, so that I get a fresh start every couple of months).

The question is: how do I remain content? Contentedness is what drives me. A settled, organised brain allows me to live my days happily, with the knowledge that I have used my time appropriately throughout the day. The hilarious irony though is that I’m a terrible procrastinator, and actively avoid things if I find them unpleasant (namely paperwork at school). So how do I get settled?

I need to develop consistency and order. The last thing I want to do is what Demetri Martin did and outline every second of every day. However, there is a part of me that thinks elements of what he was trying to achieve would suit me.

The unexamined life is not worth living

So with that said, my aim over the next 10 weeks is to try and live the way I’ve always wanted to. Be the boyfriend I want to be. Be the teacher I know I can be. Be the athlete I know I can be. Be the happiest person I can be.

So let’s begin. What needs to happen everyday that will make me content and settled?

Wake up with the alarm. Whether it’s 5:45am on BCN days, or no later than 6:30am on other days. I need sleep.
Lunch is prepared and nutritious, with enough to cover me if I need to exercise.
Shirts are ironed and I look good at work. No more t-shirts.
I limit the amount of coffees I have per day. Two in the morning is fine, but only one more after that. Drink water instead.
Work is prepared the day before at the very least. Most of my thought process is spent worrying about work I should have already done – “It’ll be harder later if you don’t do it now”.
Use Google Calendar to record upcoming events and check it daily to remember the things that I’m meant to remember.
No phone in the toilet.
No Facebook until I’m home (apart from Messenger).
BCN sessions are prepared in advance. Use some time on Sunday to quickly get them done.
No booze until Friday.
Complete all of my own exercise, both running and Pilates.
Phone charged outside the bedroom and watch is my alarm across the room.
Read a book in bed and aim for 10pm bed time.

That’s it. Nothing crazy or unheard of – just simple day-to-day things that will keep me on track and my head clear.
There’s obviously other things that need to happen within the day itself, but the above are the important bits that will lessen procrastination and keep me rested.

Dom

Didn’t go to plan.

10-Week Challenge